Well, now that I finished the story of Dorian Gray, I'm thinking that I maybe I shouldn't have used that book as my first post. Strange book in that as Dorian moves through his life, he makes morally wrong choices. He becomes evil on the inside but his outer appearance is not affected by his decisions; he retains his handsome, youthful look. His painting, on the other hand, takes on his inner character and becomes an ugly, disfigured creature. He experiences reversed metamorphosis, from a beautiful butterfly to an ugly worm.
What a sad picture of a world without the One True God, who is able to transform us, to metamorphosize us, from the inside out, if we let Him. May I keep that goal ever before me--I want to become a Blue Morpho didius.

Pride

I am a proud woman. Well, I guess I should say, I am a proud mother. My children never cease to amaze me and I am proud of them. They are doing things with their lives that cause me to stand back and say, "Wow, that's WAAAAY cool! I am sooooo proud of you."

Mykal, my oldest, just turned 22 last week. It's hard to believe that 22 years ago I held this beautiful little girl in my arms. She was this perfect little doll. And now she's a mother herself. Seeing her patience with Sydrah and wisdom beyond her years makes me proud. And seeing her drive to pursue becoming a doulah also makes me proud.

Kendra is 21 and in her 3rd year at Houghton College in upper-state New York. Her artwork is beautiful and her ability is noticed by her profs and that makes me proud. Her intensity and desire to use her art to help others also makes me proud.

And then there's my baby, James. At 19 he is taking a year to work and adjust to life in North America before going to college next year and I am proud of him for doing that. His desire to learn and study makes me proud and I know he will excel wherever he goes and in whatever field he majors in.

But, most importantly, I boast in what REALLY matters in their lives. I see God in them. I see them lean on God through tough times. I see them look to God for wisdom and direction. I see them give priority to things that really matter. I see them love God and others. And in this, I am proud. I cannot take credit for God in their lives. I mean, all my life I have tried to be God's reflection but I know I have not always done that. And THAT humbles me. But God....HE answered my prayers and brought them to Himself. So, in the end, I boast in the God who saves!

I just started the novel, "The Picture of Dorian Gray," by Oscar Wilde. It was recommended to me and I enjoy classic literature. I fear for the protagonist, Dorian Gray. Painted young, naive--untouched by the world. Then the world hits him. In 20 years will he look at the portrait and hate what he has become? Will he become cynical, hateful, fearful? I look back at my life and am enjoying the age I am now. My children are all adults and I LOVE conversing with them at an adult level. I can lavish my energies on my little grandaughter, Sydrah. My husband Doug & I have more freedom with our time. But mostly I like where I am with God--HE is so real to me. It's amazing. Yes, I wish I knew back then what I know now and if I had to do it all over again, there are definitely some things I would do over--but God gives me the freedom to leave those things in His care and to look to hope for the future knowing HE is in control of all things. I do not need to fear. Hey, doesn't God's Word say something to that effect? It's true. It's truth and He offers it willingly. Wow!